Mercy Said No~

There are so many times when I have been faced with my "testimony".

 When others have asked me about my life.

Old friends wanting to "catch up".....

New friends wanting to "get" to know me......

Questions after questions.....

Where I was, to where I am now.

Why divorced?

Was it my fault?

Why did I move?

Why did I come back home?

And the questions continue.........

Along with the words of " Ohhhh I see"  and smiles  hidden behind tones of judgment.

It came to the point I did not want to answer any questions. I just wanted to smile and wave and keep on going,  in the most opposite direction I could find.

I was ashamed of the many paths I had walked in my life.

I felt humiliated and disgraced  in some of the journeys I had taken.

I didn't believe God could ever forgive me for walking away from him so many times.

I thought I had gone too far to come back to him, and if I did go back, he'd refuse me.

Have you ever felt you have literally gone too far to turn around?

I have......

~tears~

Many times....

~sigh~

 I suffered in silence, pretending all was well.

Smiling.......

Waving......

Dying on the inside~

I was hiding behind my mask of shame.

The one I had colored, painted and placed over my face.

Our daddy God doesn't look at our mask,the one we put on to cover our sins.

He sees the child he created that is behind the mask~

Slowly the mask is beginning to be removed......

I hold on tighter.

It's now being pulled and my grasp is slipping......

I can see light and my eyes are squinting at it's brightness.

My first instinct is to cover my face with my hands, to continue hiding. 

But HE grabs them.......

And then............

He takes my hands and places them into his hands.

He looks in my eyes and I turn away.

I am scared to face him.......

He gently moves my face to his and smiles with tears in his eyes and then I hear so plainly.............

MERCY SAID NO ~

He will never let any of us go. No matter the sin, the shame nor humiliation and disgrace.

He will never let go~

He will meet us right where we are in life, removing our masks of shame and pain.

 He will renew our hearts with his mercy of love and forgiveness.

He will free us from our hiding place and allow our testimony to become a story of hope and love.

For others to see God's grace in our lives and to witness redemption and restoration.

I no longer duck and hide.

My mask has been removed and my heart filled with his love.

And on the days when I feel that mask of shame trying to attach its self to my face,

I remember.........

"Mercy said No"

Much love~

Stacey

Psalm 103:10-11

¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;