Dec 4, 2014

The Struggle Is Real

The last few months have been a struggle for me in a few particular areas of my life.
I have tried so hard to not let it dominate over my emotions......
I have dug my heels in with gritted teeth......
Held on with the tips of my fingers....
Plastic smile as large as can be and said " I am good" to all who have asked.
Maybe that's OK to do so with those who inquire....
And even OK to tell my children that Mom is all good.
But the sad part is, I have done the same thing with my daddy God. 
I have told him the same thing...." I am good Lord, I got this!!"
Uhhhhh, not so much............
Like I can hide anything from him right??

 But I have tried to pretend that I was not struggling. 
In my mind, if I only spoke to him about bits and pieces,maybe it would be easier to deal with....
Even tried the old saying "Ignoring the elephant in the room".
 As crazy as it sounds, I wasn't ready to hear his answers or directions, the only one who could walk me through the struggle and set me in peace.
The funny thing is, he already knows my struggle in it's entirety.
He knows my heart.....
He's counted every tear......
He knows the depth of the love I carry.........
He knows how hard I hold on to hope.....
He knows the desires of my heart; He knows me.
 He also knows when this child of his will finally break and surrender it all to him.

One would think at the age I am and all I have been through in my life, I would not act as though I am Eve hiding in the Garden of Eden from God with the bright red apple in hand.
 My issue is not the forbidden fruit dangling from the tree of knowledge ; it's holding on in life to those things,circumstances and situations when I should be letting go.

Letting go for my daddy God to shape, change and restore.
Letting go and letting God.

It's not wrong to hope.
 Neither is it wrong to let go.
We can still hope in the letting go.
We can still love through the struggle.
 I have learned to struggle from time to time, strengthens my faith and it's what I do in the struggle that determines my outcome.

To admit I am struggling is my first step.
To acknowledge to myself I can't do it alone is another.
Reaching out to my daddy God is my best step.
Turning it all over to him is my greatest.
He cares about every part of my struggles, no matter how great or how small, His word tells me that He does.

1 Peter 5:7
Give all your worries to him because He cares for you.

He reminds me that even though there are times I will struggle in this life, He is never far from me nor has He ever left me.

Giving it all over to Him.......
The struggle is real~



Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

1 comment:

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