I can feel the mist slowly falling.....
It hits my face softly......
It's light as it settles on my eyelashes and over my cheeks.......
I look around me.......
The drops are beginning to fall heavier......
With eyes now closed......
I pray............
I have been through storms in life.....
Many storms......
Too many to count~
The old saying comes to mind.....
The bigger the storm, the bigger the blessing............
This storm came within a two weeks spand.
It begins with a unexpected move to a new place.....
Thanksgiving with the family......
The flu hits me with all it's rage......
~ Lovely~
I am now packing and moving in the middle of this rain shower......
My daughter calls.....She is deploying again......
~ I just started breathing again from her last deployment~
I am still packing and moving after work each night....
I can't remember the last time I have ever been so sick....
My body hurts with every step, thought and movement I make.
My teenager and I are not seeing eye to eye at the moment.
Friends come to help, however I am so overwhelmed, I feel as though everything is moving in slow motion.....backwards~
I don't like feeling discombobulated.....
Unorganized.....
Flustered.....
Overwhelmed.....
Out of control......
But I am and I do.
I am losing my sense of composure.....
I can feel my level of stress and anxiety rising up and choking the very breath out of me.
I just want to breathe.............
I don't even know what to pray for by this point....
I have no words......
I have no tears........
Just despair...........
It is amazing to me that even with the help I received through this move and my illness, I still felt the raging winds swirling in to consume my every fiber.
( For all who helped me, You totally rock and I have nothing but love for you all!! )
I can't see any light through the thick clouds hoovering over and around me......
I lose control over all my emotions.............
The enemy of my soul is now chattering in my ears......
"Why are you so flustered you child of God?"
"YOU claim to be His, so why is this all happening to you eh?"
"How mighty are you now?"
"Look at you, you are failing God and He is now failing you."
I can feel the venom of his words slamming into my face over and over.......
Every lie he throws at me, every horrid insult, every attempt to destroy me, stings like a rain of acid burning my soul.
This appears to be a strong but yet fast moving storm.....
Hitting at every angle....
And then some............
I am now determined to cling to my rock......
To see the light slicing through the storm clouds.....
To see HIS grace in the midst of the storm!!
I purpose in my heart, I will not be moved!!
Psalm 62:6
6 He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved
My move is complete, minus some unpacking that remains, I am on the mend from the flu/pneumonia after a visit to the doctor's office and my daddy God has once again shown to never leave me nor for sake me in the midst of my storm.
I may have physically moved, however I will never remove myself from my daddy God's hand.
No matter what the enemy tries to tell me, I know that my place is with the Lord and it is through HIM and only HIM will I be victorious in this life.....
I may have been drowning in despair........
Why??
Maybe because I was so sick and just didn't have the get up and go.....
Maybe because I just got weary......
Maybe because it all came so fast and all at once.
Whatever the reason I can say, I am NOW standing in HIS grace.....
Ahhhh what a wonderful place to be!!
I feel His peace in all the circumstances surrounding me.......
And another piece of my testimony of God's love, grace and mercy is added to my book of life.
I am so ever thankful....
Thankful He loves me so much..... When I am out of control and need forgiveness.
Thankful He calls me His.....When I am lost in the storm.
Thankful He knows my heart when I have no words.....
Thankful He is my daddy!!
Psalm 16:8-9
8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
my body also will rest secure,
Much Love~
Stacey
* I take no credit for the photo's in this post*
Thank you for this post. You described exactly what I am going through. Sometimes I forget I am not the only one feeling this way. Thank you, too, for reminding me that He is always there, even when the storm clouds blur my vision to the point of blindness. Your post helped me see a little ray of light breaking through the darkness.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen! I am so glad you stopped by and that this post ministered to your heart. There are times when we all feel as though we are the only one dealing with such emotions and trials.....However our daddy God in all his infinate love reminds me we are not alone. I pray blessings to you and yours!!!
ReplyDeleteps I am now following your blog :)
Stacey
I think it helps so much when we are honest about what is happening in our lives. Here you show the entire progression of feeling lost and being found. Praying for you as you come fully out of this storm, resting in Him.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jen!! Your words of encouragement are felt and I appreciate your prayers my friend!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you!!
Stacey
Absolutely BEAUTIFUL my friend! SO glad you're feeling better!! :-) I was concerned about you, but praying nevertheless. Thank you for your honesty! Many times we as believers never get our breakthrough, because we can't even be honest with ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing Stacey! Hugs and kisses to you! BTW...I have a very funny story to tell you. I'll inbox you on FB. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteA beginning, middle and end. You told the whole story! You seem to depict the battles we all fight on an almost daily basis it seems - although the size of the storm definitely varies!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honesty and sharing your journey! It's an encouragement to us all.
29Very well said reading this I know we all can identify with this for we have had moments like these. The good thing about when we have these moments is Jesus is right along with us we don't face it alone. I know at times it seems like He's not there but as I tell people when you don't sense Him is when He is closer to you than your very own breathe. To GOD be the GLORY
ReplyDeleteStacey - just now stopping by - oh, my friend, how much has happened for you in the last couple of weeks. Lifting you up in prayer each step.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're starting to feel better. Sorry you're going through such trials, but as you said, God's grace is sufficient. He's always given me peace in the midst of storms. (Visiting from OYHT linkup.)
ReplyDelete