Well let me explain....
I have preached over and over again forgiveness to my girls. I have on a daily bases, and in some cases a minute by minute bases, preached to them God's love and mercy and what his word says about loving and blessing our enemies.
28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
There are many many times I didn't see those words sinking into their beautiful little heads, nor did I see those seeds I had so earnestly planted start to bloom.
Exhausting? You know it......
Then one day during one of my precious babygirls's life lessons, she steps up, swallows her pride and starts the forgiving process.
She finally heeds to the still small voice that nudges her so softly,where as I can be known at times for screeching my point, to makes amends.
I watched my daughter step up and step out and was ready to face the situation all on her own to set things right. To ask for forgiveness for words that were not meant to be said and actions that were not of her true character.
As a mom, I was proud of her decision and began to explain the favor of God over her life just by being obedient. I saw her heart soften, I saw her eyes mist and I saw her ready to make amends.
So where did my words come back to slam me straight in my face you may ask? After all it sounds like a story of healing right?
She was not allowed to make amends, she wasn't allowed to "clear the air" she wasn't allowed to step up and show her true heart and Godly character to them. They refused, they rejected her.
As her mom I was hurting for her. When she walked in the house and I saw the pain all over her beautiful face. I couldn't believe that a adult would be so un sensitive to a child.
After all adults are to lead by example right? Now I have to remind myself of everything I had spoken to her. All of the life lessons according to God's word and how to apply them.
And a new lesson begins, for us both.
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy x seven times
We are to forgive over and over again.
As I struggled to keep my composure, to allow God's words to come forth from my mouth, I realized then and there that my child was learning yet another valuable lesson.
I realized at that very moment,no matter how "man" deemed her. Her daddy God was proud of his precious babygirl, who had all intentions to stand before the lion and make things right in the sight of God, for being obedient to his voice and the loving nudge he gave to her heart.
I also had to ask the Lord to put his arm around my shoulder and his hand over my mouth as I began to feel the momma lion in me ready to pounce and roar. ( Don't act like none of you have never been ready to pounce or bring out your cat claws ...hehehe)
However "pounce" I did not. Instead I told my daughter how proud I was of her in the steps she took. I told her I loved her with every beat of my heart. I told her that God sees and knows all and that in his time, all will be well according to his plan and purpose for her life.
In the midst of her frustration, hurt and yes anger she couldn't understand why I wouldn't let her say anymore than she already had. I had to show her to stand on God's word and not to lash out due to her hurting heart. Of course I wanted so badly to ask God if this was a joke, as he knows me so very well, especially when it comes to my girls!
Thank you sweet baby Jesus your hand is so much bigger than my mouth......
I truly believe that at times His sense of humor comes at the most strangest times. Here I was teaching my child a lesson in forgiveness and love and my own words came back to stare me down as fast as I gave them to my daughter. I had to apply the very same words I had given her to my sever irritation.
Did I mention my irritaion was sever?!
My next round of questions went something along these lines......
Are you kidding me?
You are a just God, Can you please give her some justice now?
WHY WHY WHY???
Can you pleasssseeeeeeee explain to me how a christian can be so so, well you know Lord?!?!!!
And my last one.....
Why does she have to bear this hurt Lord?
Growing pains..fun?.... I think not. ....for neither one of us.
I share some of this story as I want you all to know being a Christian does not make us perfect. It means we are forgiven. And whether the other party ever forgives, I know that the Lord has forgiven and that we will continue to strive towards the mark He has set for us to win this race in life.
I am proud of my babygirl. I know that she is becoming the mighty woman of God he has called her to be and for that I am thankful. She is a child of the most high God and the planted seeds are beginning to bloom.
As for her momma "lion" I am learning when to pounce and when not to pounce. In other words, shut my mouth and hear my Lord's voice and his instructions.
And we both are learning that forgiveness is a gift for ourselves and it's one to be given daily.
For that I am most grateful!