May 29, 2012

She's not that girl.....

Looking back over my life, there are many memories I wish I didn't have. Many choices, actions and words I would love to make disappear. I have always been outgoing friendly, never meet a stranger kinda girl. The girl who would do anything for someone in need, happy go lucky attitude.

But on the flip side........

 The girl, one who on the inside, believed she was unlovable, not worthy, picked apart her every flaw,and had convinced herself she was a nobody. All smiles on the outside, dying on the inside......

It was through these times I see where my choices were self destructive to my heart.I allowed myself through certain choices and actions, to be humiliated, degraded and tore apart piece by piece.

The ol' saying looking for love in all the wrong places..... I had a few stops there along the way.

Suffered by all of them....

I was ashamed of my self inflicted broken heart, my reasoning behind my choices and the girl I had become. My self esteem was , well honestly I had none.


I had allowed the world to tell me who and what I was worthy of . And by doing so,began a spiral down hill ride on the coat tails of "Rejection"

Everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants that special person to share their everything with.......

The world will tell us we are nothing, we are not worthy, we don't deserve......

Lies, Lies and more Lies........!

Becoming someones "Plan B" is not how God sees any of his children.....

I have now come to the point in my life, that this woman, is no longer the girl she use to be.

 The dirt road I once traveled is now paved with God's love, mercy and grace.

I no longer carry the burdens from rejection, or disgrace.

I am a woman with a story, one that portrays the greatness of my daddy God's healing, and love.

A girl, who is no longer ashamed of her messy past, but instead a woman who is blessed to share her story of God's redemption in her life.

I can look back now and smile as I see where God in his unfailing love, restored me and my heart from the memories of my broken past.

So the girl I use to be, has now become the woman I was called to be. I have purposed in my heart to be who and  what God has called me to be, not what the world tells me. 

I encourage anyone who feels their past is overshadowing their future, get off that dirt road and see yourself as your daddy God does!!

Much love~

2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

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